Play Synopsis: In this Jane Austen parody, the Ashworth daughters (of which there are twelve – or is it thirteen?) struggle to find suitors that will meet their mother’s high standard. Her standard, of course, being that they must be filthy rich. Their task is made all the more difficult because their choices are so limited, due to the high number of potential suitors who have been killed when their horses fell on top of them. In the meantime, they must fend off unwanted proposals, snooty cousins, and the dreaded Dowager Countess.